This week has been a really decent week. I have been in this funk lately and really frustrated with the state of my life overall. I remember the last time I felt this way....four years ago. It is so very true that the job hunt is the most degrading, frustrating and agonizing occupation there is. I mean I know I'm good at what I do....and I LOVE it but how do they really know until they see me in action. And I keep asking myself why I chose such a specific career. And I was totally pulling the poor freaking me card...I hate my life...why am I always so lonely? Why have I lived in the Twin Cities for over a year and still haven't made any good friends? This was a serious pity party.
THAT was last week.
Thursday night I had a revelation.....I HAVE worked my ASS off and I WILL find a job that's worthy of my talents!!! I'm NOT freaking giving up!!! What led me in this direction, you ask? Well, I have been working on the Bolero that is pictured on the cover of the Winter 2006/07 edition of
VogueKnitting for the past six months. AND Thursday I decided that it was just WAY too large for any human being to honestly wear with pride....so I frogged it. You might be reading this and thinking..."so she undid six months of cool looking rather large cables that were making a bolero/shrug..what of it?" Well this project was almost in completion and I was simply NOT satisfied and I just ripped...and ripped from 9pm until 5am. I was a woman possessed. As I was ripping it occured to me that if I wasn't satisfied with the way things were going..with THIS project I could start over and make it so much better. I really am in control of my life. I mean I have always known that but that is one thing that we tend to forget in our lives. We DO have the power to change things that are within our grasp. And when we do that, it strengthens us to make us that much more resilient the next time we encounter hardship and frustration. We can just go back to the beginning and put our newfound knowledge to use and strengthen our resolve to be better and more successful with the next attempts.
So, with that said, I'm starting over...on my knitting project and working to get the results I want with my career.
Here are the delightful images of what I will be making, what I have made and the yarn involved: